“DEAR PEOPLE: Please Stop Forcing Marriage On Me”

Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it will happen. ~ Unknown

Last Monday, we were heading to Baguio when I saw this group of “kailyan” in Poblacion, Sagada. They were telling me in Kankanaey…”ay inmali ka ubpay, dat into pay insaam abes is babaro? Kaanu ka pay abes ay makiasawa ta sayang adi nan pintas mo.. Etc. Etc…

Note: Kankanaey is a language used by the Cordillerans particularly people from the Mountain Province and the province of Benguet.

Back, I have heard those words for like a million times already and I’m so so so sick of it!

Dear People,

I have always been a big fan of marriage so this clearly means that of course, I want to get married. All of us want to get married.

Fyi, I have always been dreaming of having a “simple” Igorot wedding one of these days.

But to tell you, I have attended several wedding ceremonies in the past twenty something years and even admired those beautiful brides, their beautiful long white gowns but…I NEVER WANTED TO BECOME THEM YET!

People..I’m fed up of being told how once I turn 28, 29, and hitting the big oh so scary age 3-0.

What is so scary with 30 anyway?

Will I become unsightly if I hit that age?

Perhaps, you may think that I will end up like those who never got married but I won’t people, I won’t!

You may think as well that I’m picky but I’m not.

I know mostly of you got married in an early age.

And this is probably going to sound awful but I’m so sorry if I offend… some of you even got married repeatedly but my parents brought me up different.

I vividly remember a phone conversation I had with my mom – “there’s no reason to hurry, get married at the right time”.

Yes! I am not growing any younger but it’s all about getting ready and I believe, that’s what anybody should think.

I’m realizing more and more while writing this article that perhaps, a lot of people got married probably because of lust, boredom, survival, safety, they felt like they were at the marriageable age, comfort, society demand etc. etc. And they were like, regretting it in the end.

Hence, I should first focus on all the good things I can and should be doing for myself before saying, “ I DO”.

I am writing this to tell you people that marriage is something I would never want to compromise.

Author’s Note:

Marriage is not a game, it’s a lifelong commitment. So even though the people around you are telling that you must get married as soon as possible, never ever allow their toxic beliefs to be projected onto you.

To be continued……

Thank you for reading.

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

13 thoughts on ““DEAR PEOPLE: Please Stop Forcing Marriage On Me”

  1. while I recognize the cultural differences, it is not at all uncommon for women in the U.S. (at least since feminism became stronger) to wait until their 30s to marry. I think the meme you use says it all.

    Liked by 1 person

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