“DEAR PEOPLE: Please Stop Forcing Marriage On Me”

Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it will happen. ~ Unknown

Last Monday, we were heading to Baguio when I saw this group of “kailyan” in Poblacion, Sagada. They were telling me in Kankanaey…”ay inmali ka ubpay, dat into pay insaam abes is babaro? Kaanu ka pay abes ay makiasawa ta sayang adi nan pintas mo.. Etc. Etc…

Note: Kankanaey is a language used by the Cordillerans particularly people from the Mountain Province and the province of Benguet.

Back, I have heard those words for like a million times already and I’m so so so sick of it!

Dear People,

I have always been a big fan of marriage so this clearly means that of course, I want to get married. All of us want to get married.

Fyi, I have always been dreaming of having a “simple” Igorot wedding one of these days.

But to tell you, I have attended several wedding ceremonies in the past twenty something years and even admired those beautiful brides, their beautiful long white gowns but…I NEVER WANTED TO BECOME THEM YET!

People..I’m fed up of being told how once I turn 28, 29, and hitting the big oh so scary age 3-0.

What is so scary with 30 anyway?

Will I become unsightly if I hit that age?

Perhaps, you may think that I will end up like those who never got married but I won’t people, I won’t!

You may think as well that I’m picky but I’m not.

I know mostly of you got married in an early age.

And this is probably going to sound awful but I’m so sorry if I offend… some of you even got married repeatedly but my parents brought me up different.

I vividly remember a phone conversation I had with my mom – “there’s no reason to hurry, get married at the right time”.

Yes! I am not growing any younger but it’s all about getting ready and I believe, that’s what anybody should think.

I’m realizing more and more while writing this article that perhaps, a lot of people got married probably because of lust, boredom, survival, safety, they felt like they were at the marriageable age, comfort, society demand etc. etc. And they were like, regretting it in the end.

Hence, I should first focus on all the good things I can and should be doing for myself before saying, “ I DO”.

I am writing this to tell you people that marriage is something I would never want to compromise.

Author’s Note:

Marriage is not a game, it’s a lifelong commitment. So even though the people around you are telling that you must get married as soon as possible, never ever allow their toxic beliefs to be projected onto you.

To be continued……

Thank you for reading.

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

Advertisements

“Losing and Grieving For My Dog”

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” — Anatole France

Years ago, I was having coffee at one of my favourite coffee shops in Baguio when I saw a girl expressing her anger towards the guy who stole her dog. She was crying, begging him to give back her dog. You know what I said? “It was just a dog!”.

(c) Pinterest

For some reason, I thought of that girl at exactly 6pm this past Tuesday. Yeah right! You will never really understand someone’s pain until you are the one feeling it. Yes, I’ve never understood that girl until now that I lost my dog.

Macky, one of the very special dogs in my life. A baby boy who had been a member of the family for one year and seven months has finally passed away after three weeks of struggling from his illness. He developed a tumor that made using his hind legs difficult so he didn’t have a lot of energy these past few weeks.

He had been with me through the ups and downs in life and even helped me cope with my other losses. He was all I wanted to be around when I was sad because he never failed in letting me know that even when it was hard, even when he was sleepy, he was still there for me. He provided me with daily opportunities to show his love and care. Man! I miss my macky! 😥

To some, this may sound foolish but I swear, the pain of losing him is so suffocating. I felt that the important part of my life have passed with him until last Wednesday, I came home and looked at the spot where he would usually be waiting. I called his name with the balmy notion that he’d appear barking while wagging his long white tail. But of course, it was just another sore reminder that he was really gone. It was just so heavy to let go of someone so sweet, so precious, and so attached to me.

Now, it is just me blistering around this quite house with nothing and no one to care for. Thinking that perhaps, it’s really a sad fact of life that dogs just don’t live as long as human do.

I knew I would get another dog after a months or even a years but a beloved dog can truly never be replaced.

P. S, Losing a pet can be as difficult as losing a human family member and this may seem silly to some but to those who have owned and lost a pet, you know what I’m feeling right now.

To be continued…

Thank you for reading.

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

“Don’t Rush: Get Married On Time”

It frustrates me sometimes when people see me and they were like,..Are you married? If not, get married now. You are old already and a lot of your friends were married so when is it your turn?

I was so irritated when I heard these words coming from a not so close “married friend with three kids already”. I was about to tell her that it’s not yet my priority and I don’t want to be competing with everyone around. I mean, just because she’s married or you are getting married, then I should be getting married as well. Like….what the hell!!! I am not so desperate that I will marry just anyone just because people around me are getting married. Besides, I am still young….HAHAHA So I’ll get there soon and not this time

Now, if you were married at a certain age then stop lecturing me to do the same! It’s my life! But let’s be clear, yes we all want to get married and without a doubt, I want to get married. However, this doesn’t have to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and even next .

Marriage is not a race and definitely not easy. Not to mention, I still don’t know how to cook a decent meal etc. so it’s a must to spend a great amount of time preparing for myself. And let me tell you, life is getting very formidable now. So I would never just tell anyone to get married because it is not something that has to be rushed. Hear me!?

I still don’t know when the right age to get married. I would want to get married in my twenties but because I’m in my twenties and perhaps not yet ready, I’m not in a hurry and whatsoever to make an enormous commitment at this time in my life because I am more focus on building myself for greatness before finally deciding to embark a forever journey with someone.

Also, I will be getting married because I know that I am ready and I feel like getting married and not because people around me are getting married. Know that marriage is not a race.

I have listed a few reasons why I am choosing not to get married this time:

1. I am not yet ready to start a family.

2. I want to travel. And if God will permit, to travel the world.

3. I am still learning how to cook a decent meal. But of course, I know how to cook rice, eggs, noodles and hotdogs.

4. I don’t need marriage before I can say that my partner is fully committed to me.

5. I am starting to know myself.

6. What’s the rush!?

Let me end this by telling you that marriage can wait. So don’t jump into hasty decision and don’t rush just because everyone is getting married. It’s important to be ready for it and all the responsibilities and negotiations it contains before saying “I do”.

Disclaimer: All photos was grabbed from Pinterest. Credits goes to its respective owners. 

 

Thank you for reading.

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

 

“3 Year Blog Anniversary”

Hi everyone! Today marks the third year anniversary of starting this blog. I just can’t believe that it’s been a years already, it feels like I’m still so new to this blogging world with a lot of things to learn.

On March 3, 2015, I started this site just for my pastime and for me to share all the things that I love until I have met incredible people who have helped, shaped and defined my blog and so I am just so grateful that you are on this journey with me.

Today, when I got the congratulatory notification from wordpress, it bring back the memory when I was so happy when I got that first follower and first comment on my first published blog post. Hehehe

So I want to thank every one of you here from the bottom of my heart for following this blog and for all the kind comments that I’ve received. There’s no words that can explain how your love and support has helped this blog to grow.

Again,my sincere thanks to all of you. To my regular viewers, commentators, new viewers, new followers and most especially to my followers who have been here since the beginning. Thank you for sticking around this long and I hope that you will stay a while longer for more poetry, writings, written quotes, cafe reviews, book reviews, Travel and everything else.

 

Thank you!

Al_Yolly ❤

“Tips To Mend A Broken Heart”

I know that all of us have already experienced heartbreak- we’ve all been hurt. I know as well that when you were still with him, you already thought that he was the only one for you to the extent that you even believed that person to be your soul mate.

I knew it because I have done that before. He was my everything but I realized only later that we were not good enough for each other. Perhaps because we have a lot of priorities before especially him. So time came when we decided to better end the relationship besides it’s also for our own good. Of course, there were a lot of crying on both our part and from the very last time, we felt that we really love each other but we have to really end it there.

Every day, I felt bad for leaving the person I love. We all know that dealing with breakup is probably one of the hardest things to deal with. There were even times that I wanted to call him but I cannot because I always have to look back on what was best for us.

So after almost a year of healing. I can confidently say that no matter how our relationship turned out, I am still thankful because it was handled in a nice way that allowed me to grow from it rather than to become bitter. No regret at all.

So if you’re one of those broken hearted then this post is for you. I have listed the five (5) keys that would at least help you to heal that broken heart and move on.

Disclaimer: This blog post is based on my opinion and own experiences.

1. Feel the pain

Moving on and getting back on track with your life after a breakup doesn’t take a day. It takes a lot of small steps and the first step for me is to just “feel the pain”. Cry if you want. Shout if you want. You have to allow the pain to get into you and feel it. Because I do believe that when you allow yourself to feeling the pain and moving through it, you will at least feel better.

2. Stop Communicating with your ex

The idea of communicating to your ex is very tempting so when I say “stop communicating”, block them on facebook, their number, all their social media accounts and you may have to change your number as I have done all of these before. I know that not talking to your ex after a breakup may be exceedingly hard but doing this will help the moving on process much easier.

Note: Try to stay away from your phone even just for one day.

3. Get rid of the things that remind you of him.

Let’s say the gifts that was given by your ex. Simply burn those things, some say it’s therapeutic and a bit odd but it’s the best way for me to get rid of the things that reminds you of your ex. If not, put his picture on a dartboard for a target practice. No! I’m just kidding. Hahaha 🤣✌ Seriously, burn those things or put them in a garbage bag.

However, if it’s jewelries, bags, shoes, or even cellphones? I suggest, you better sell them.

4. Focus on your yourself and priorities

Always remind yourself every day of what is truly most important. Focus on your work, your family, your friends and most importantly, you should focus and love yourself. I say, ex is an ex for a reason. There are so many people out there so don’t waste your time crying over a one person. You simply deserve better.!

And when I say priorities, let’s say for example you are still studying, then you should focus on your studies and aim high. You have to care about your future so failure in a relationship should not lead to failure in life.

5. Accept that it’s over

Accepting that a relationship is over is incredibly difficult. I know that there are times that you don’t believe it’s over and you’re still holding into hope. But let me tell you, the longer you hold on, the longer you are like torturing yourself. In that, you are less open to knowing and accepting anyone else.

Forget those memories with your ex. Go for a vacation with your friends and family and be the best you can while you are with them. Have fun, laugh, and get back to having a long and exciting conversations with them and start enjoying your life again. Accept that maybe you and your ex are not meant for each other. That maybe someone is destined to be your better half and not him. That maybe God is preparing a plan for you to meet someone new.

To be honest, it took me almost one year to let go about my feelings with my ex. And now, I am happy to say that I am in a happy and healthy relationship for 51 months now.

So I just want to end this by saying, when you are dealing with a breakup now, take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Then after that, keep in mind that breakup is part of being in a relationship. It’s a platform for us to learn, grow and experience life itself.

That’s all for today. Let me know what you think about this post by commenting below.

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

“Life Update: What I’ve Been Doing Lately”

Hi! To be honest, I don’t have any big news but I just thought to post another blog post to inform you guys of what I’ve been doing lately. It’s also gonna be a short one because it’s just a summary that ran through my mind in review of this month (January) that is about to end. 

But before that, let me first say that I am no longer making any promises that I will be consistent in posting because let’s be real, those promises usually fall flat. Hahaha. Okey! Let’s proceed. 

1. Getting back into fitness

I’m into fitness before. I was even involved in any physical activities like jogging, hitting the gym and even cycling. But you probably knew that it’s hard and difficult to get back again once you’ve abstained for a long period of time. That’s what happened to me so I feel so bloated now. I’m very thankful to my friend because she’s the one who encouraged me to get back into fitness . And finally! I am going to start tomorrow so wish me luck. Also, food is everywhere and temptation is hard to resist  when you’re hungry but I’m thankful as well because I’m back with my proper diet. 

2. Got my passport and started learning Korean Language

I started learning Korean language since second week of January and it’s been really hard because of course I’m not used to it. Pronounciation and their writing system is very difficult to learn so I have to keep on practicing. As of right now, I’ve only gotten down half of their alphabet and number. And hopefully, after this month, I won’t have to use google translate as much. Hahaha 😃✌

Note: I am learning Korean as preparation for the upcoming exam this March. 

Aside from that, I’ve been processing my passport these past few months and after a long arduous wait, I finally got it just yesterday. 

3. New Blog Theme

I’ve been also fixing the theme of my blog just last week. Tested all the free theme of wordpress- used,changed then changed back to more theme trying to find out what suits my need. Until I decided to use Lovecraft theme. Add to that, I also changed my site identity- from Aaal ❤Yolly to random writings of a promdi Girl. 

4. Day Out and Coffee date with a friend
My friend Martina and I are living in the same city and we had been trying to get together for months now. She lives 1 hour away from where I live but we can’t even seem to make it work. When I’m in town, she’s in duty, and when she’s free, I am busy. But finally last week, we were able to make it. We caught up, had a little shopping, and we had as well a good conversation that is accompanied by good coffee. 

After that, we went for a walk in Camp John Hay and had a photo shoot. So I wanted to share these photo of my lovely friend Martina. 

Lastly, after the photo shoot we decided to have our dinner in Station 120. It is one of the affordable buffets here in Baguio City.  And then finally, we decided to go home. We were very happy to have spent such a wonderful day together. It was indeed a memorable day that will long remain in our heart. Nah! I don’t know if this is still a short post so okey.. I have to end here. 

That’s all the updates that fit to tell. Thank you for reading!

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

“Learnings of a Promdi Girl in the City”

Hi! Just to let you know, I’m always a promdi girl through and through despite of living in the city for a decades now. Promdi is a Filipino slang word which refer to someone who grew up in the  province.

(c) eyocampo

Looking back, it was March 2008 when we graduated in high school. Coming from a province where it was more or less a given that high school graduates either go to the nearest city or the province’s capital for college. I was so excited to finally step on another level but to be honest, I never really had a clear plan for college during that time. All I knew was that I’d probably enroll in a good university and take up nursing. Aside from that, I somehow expected the city of Pines (Baguio) to be my next home.

So after two months of vacation, it was enrollment and all my batchmates had decided where to enroll to already. Majority of them- in MPSPC (Mountain Province State Polytechnic College). My mind was 100% made up that I will take the entrance exam for nursing in Benguet State University (BSU)- one of the famous universities here in Baguio city. But sadly, I didn’t pass so I decided to rather enroll in another famous university here which is University of Baguio (UB). I’m lucky enough to have my parents who loves me to let me go to a place where I could expand my horizon. And coming from a small and simple province, it was really hard to adjust to a sudden change of scenario.

To cut the long story short, after college, this city indeed became my second home. So with all the craziness of being in this city, I’ve listed down some of the things I’ve learned from the hustle and bustle of living here in the city of Pines.

1. I’ve learned that cash is very important- for the jeepney or taxi fare. You can’t get around the city if you don’t have any cents with you.

2. I’ve learned that, living here is somehow very hard. You can’t survive if you don’t have work or any source of income. Because of course, you have to pay your electric bill and water bill every end of the month. The food and everything.

3. I’ve learned in terms of being “new” in this city, be sure to bring a friend with you who knows the way and always keep your eyes wide open. Never ever trust strangers!

4. I’ve learned that this city has a lot of temptations. You’ll see things that you probably didn’t see in the province. You’ll be involve in a situation that you’ve never been when you’re living in the province. You’ll meet different people from different places. And if you came here for your studies or whatever reason you have, I beg you..don’t let any kind of temptations get onto you. Just focus on the main reason why you’re here in the first place.

5. In terms of fashion, I simply like to wear what I’m confortable with and do not really care if it’s the in thing but I’ve learned that city girls will call you “baduy” if you’re wearing a weird or outdated clothes. But let me tell you, promdi people know how to dress appropriately. It’s just that, hanging t’shirts or whatever “showy” fashion is that are big no-nos to them.

6. I’ve learned that city people (not all) see promdis as ignorant. As if it’s their first time to see starbucks coffee and cafe’s. I’m saying this because I was in a relationship with a city boy back in 2010 and he was like this. But again let me tell you, we promdis definitely know Starbucks and cafe’s. It’s just that sometimes, we prefer to go in Goodtaste, Jacks, Marosan, whatelse?

7. I’ve learned that acceptance is a must. Accept that you’re in a different place. And that, you will be facing different people.You will no longer be facing the same roads so be ready and comfortable to accept every changes because if you don’t, you’ll be left behind.

With all that I’ve mentioned, I realized that living in the province is still the best. Fresh air, simplicity, low cost of living, peaceful and quiet environment, fresh vegetables and fruits, and most of all.. no traffic!

That’s all for today.

Thank you for reading.

 

Till then,

Al_Yolly ❤

“Looking Forward to 2018: My New Year’s Resolutions”

Hi guys! It’s still January so I guess, it’s still not too late for me to share this blog post that I’ve been writing these past few days. I know that some of you here get very fed up of this typical resolutions posts but I didn’t do any new year’s resolutions last year so I thought to do so for 2018. I love writing this kind of article because it’s something that can help me at what I do in my life. To be honest, I’m still in this weird limbo phase wherein I do feel a bit lost and confused about what’s next? I have a lot of plans so what will I’m going to do first? So I’ve decided to make a public resolutions to help me stick with it. 

This past year tested me a lot. I put myself in a toughest situation because deep inside, I wanted to find the true meaning of life. I was involved in a situation even if it meant giving up my career. I made my own happiness a priority instead of focusing on bettering myself. Until..I took myself out of these damaging situations. With all that I’ve learned from the past year, here are the lists of my new year’s resolutions.
This 2018 I promise myself:

To make the decision and to be more focus in all the things that I want to do in my life. And to learn to get some enjoyment out of the process.

To do everything with passion.

To think carefully and to consider the advice of my parents  before pursuing another plans.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To embrace everything..even the hard times.- Breath, pray, relax and just be happy.

To be more hopeful, objective and realistic.

To reserve my energy for the small number of important people  and not for the crappy ones. 

To make an effort to understand something that I can’t understand. 

To forget all the mistakes of the past and focus on greater future achievements.

To have more adventure and to take my love for the mountains to a next level.

To spend more time cultivating peace and spending more time in nature.

To keep up the diet and redouble my effort to lose weight. 

To love all the people who loves me and just don’t care those who hate me.

To show the real me and don’t apologize for it. 

To treat everyone with kindness and love.

To live in faith that God is always on my side.

And of course, to stay happy no matter what happens. 

Overall, to feel blessed for all that I have and who is in my life.

So there you have it! What are some of your new year’s resolutions? Comment and let me know. 



Till then

Al_Yolly






“Birthday Blog: Dear Twenty Something Year Old Self”

2017-12-19-12-32-29-342
Photo Shoot 2016.

Hi! Before we proceed to the main topic, I wanted first to greet you all a happy happy new year. I hope and pray that 2018 will bring you so much happiness and luck.

So yesterday (January 1) was my birthday. Yes! Time flies tremendously like it was never there. Here I am, embracing another year of awesomeness for my dear self. Nah! I never thought that I am finally welcoming my new age which consider not old enough, nor young enough.

For today’s post is about a letter for myself. I’m here writing this right now because we’re done with our family breakfast as one of our ways of celebrating my birthday and new year. I feel so blessed to be around with my family this new year. And of course, I consider all of you (my blog readers) as my friends. So I hope that you’ll stick to this blog even though I barely post. Okey, without further ado:

 Dear Twenty something year old self,

It is currently 09:07 am and you’re feeling nostalgic about the year that you just had. 2017 have taught you to be more focused, determined, hopeful and confident for all the things that you do.

You can’t imagine that it is again your birthday. Swear! It’s like, it was only yesterday that you were a teenager. Now, you felt so grown up.

This is why sometimes, you hate January 1 because it’s a sign of getting older and older.

But technically, you’re still 18 years old and you’re still young as ever. Choooos! Age is nothing but a number right.!?

Congratulations because you made it to twenty something and you’re still alive and kicking.

Thank you for making the decision to take care of yourself- eat healthier foods and exercise.

Pick the people who inspire and encourage you and most of all, love you for who you are. They’re worth it. And please, don’t waste so much time trying to force friendships with the crappy ones.

You are no longer in elementary or high school so that means you do not need to be everyone’s bestfriend. 

You know that you’re a little bit weird but that’s ok. You’re a little bit behind compared to some others but that’s ok.

It’s your day today so take a minute and stop being harsh on yourself. Feel comfort in knowing that even though things are not all how you expected, everything will going to be okey.

You’ve survived hell. And for sure, there are still going to be tough days. Tough weeks. Tough moments. But don’t let any of the past pull you back down again. Stay strong!

Change for the better. Embrace each change with gratitude and consider it to become a better woman. Learn to define yourself not by the mistakes you’ve made but by where you go from them. And never let fear of the past stop you from trying something new.

Take control of the things you can and plan for success. This will allow you to make time for things that bring you happiness.

Never change your true image just to fit in other people’s opinion. Their opinion doesn’t matter anyway. BE YOU!

Always fight for your right! And never silence yourself just to make someone else happy.

Stay strongly in your beliefs no matter people may try to destroy you. You’ve been through a lot of this and they never succeeded for destroying you.

Make someone smile, smile to stranger, and be nice to people..though they are harsh and unkind  to you, be nice and kind anyway.

Don’t forget to thank God for giving you another year of life. For all the experience of this past year (whether good or bad). For times of success which will always be a happy memories,

You are the person who always deserves the best and obviously nothing less.

You always dream big so I wish on your special day that all your wishes will come true. Also, it will give you the best memories till the next one.

I love you so much and Happy birthday!

 

 

Love,

Al_Yolly ♥

“My Love for Dogs”

16114228_1536552369705416_4071389907062238568_n
Photo Cred: Dallyver Cosileng

Last Sunday, I decided to have a walk in Km.4 Bacbacan which is 1 kilometer away from where I live. I usually do this every Sunday or Saturday because it is one of my favorite rituals as it’s my way to get my body moving, get some fresh air into my lungs, and to grab some time just to be out there-moving.

So  while I was walking, I saw an old lady and she have a dog. It’s a cocher spaniel and it’s only 4-5 months old. I felt really bad for the dog because he was crying, chained and was all wet but her owner won’t even pay any attention to him. I love dogs so much and seeing the little puppy on that condition (only dog lovers can understand this) made me think of buying and having him. And so, I was waiting for the perfect time to ask if I could buy the dog from the old lady because of course, I wasn’t just going to ask“Hey..I want to buy your dog. How much.?” I was thinking on how to begin.

To cut a long story short…the first thing I asked was where did she get the dog, and she said, one of her relatives just sold it for only 200. And I was like 200?!? A pure breed cocker spaniel is worth 7-10 thousand pesos (the puppy is a pure breed) . So I was excited and was thinking that I can just double the price. So I immediately told the old lady that I want her dog and I’m willing to give her a double or even triple the amount of money she paid for the dog. Again, I’m a major dog lover so I also told her that the dog will be taken care of. But then she replied, “No…. If you want, I’ll find you a different one.” then she asked my name.

Hahaha..That was a total loss! Because no matter how I tried to convince her, she still didn’t lend me the dog. Now, I didn’t want a different dog. I wanted her dog. And only because she was not really taking good care of her dog. That’s the only reason I wanted to buy her dog because puppies need a lot of love and care just like human babies. I know that I don’t have the right to question her ways on taking care her dog because we all have different ways but nah.. I can’t imagine a dog owner who would just ignore her wet chained puppy on her backyard- crying.

Furthermore, what upset me was when I told her that she should not always chained up the puppy like prisoners. Let him play sometimes then she said that the puppy is very grumpy, and that he bites. I don’t know what her definition of a “grumpy dog” because he even fell asleep in my arms when I was wiping his head.

Anyway, never in my wildest dreams did I think I could love a dog this much. Because from the moment that I had a dog, I began to have a newly found appreciation for all animals through my love for dogs. “It’s just a dog” you have no idea how many times I’ve heard these words. But well, our dogs are not just dogs, and just because they’re dogs, doesn’t mean we will give them less consideration. Dogs are like family to me.  I even feed them before I feed myself. Spend some of my time to play with them. Let them sleep on my room. Bought them these all dog toys and stuff. Now, I have no intentions of romanticizing on my love for dogs. I simply have the softest spot for one of the most beautiful creatures in this world.  But that’s just me. That’s how I take care and love my dog.

 

 

To end this, here’s my advice to all dog owners, please please take good care of your dogs or rather don’t get a dog if you’re not ready to be responsible for another life that will rely on you 100% (Not just dogs but any animals you own in your house). Love them, treat them as family because dogs are amazing animals and this is one of the reasons why there are millions of people around the globe that really love dogs.

 

That’s all for today and thank you for reading.

 

Till then,

Al_Yolly ♥