Disclaimer : The following is my own opinion. I do not claim it as the one true path!
Hi! So I was browsing my Instagram account a while back and I received a question from one of my followers. It was actually related to what I have been through just these past weeks with again, whom I call now the “DANGEROUS GOSSIPER”!. You guys have probably saw my previous post about “And She Has Been Gossiping About Me” but if not, click here to read.
Moving on, this follower was asking me this: ↓
“When he/she’s wrong and won’t admit it. Do you still apologize even if it’s not your fault?”
Well, I already sent her (she’s a she) my answer and I thought of posting it here on my blog. What I sent to her was this: NO! heck NO! I don’t have to be responsible for the unhappiness of those destructive people around me! If I am right then I am right! If I know that it’s not my fault, then no need for me to say sorry! I don’t apologize for something I didn’t do. I might say “sorry you feel that way”. But never will I take credit for something I didn’t do!!
Before, I always end up apologizing for the things that were not my fault just to keep the peace, the friendship. And I also don’t like to leave the conversation with anyone on a bad tone, so I always like approaching them in a very very nice voice and say sorry for each and everything which might have been wrong from my side (maybe wrong or maybe not). Until I realized that there are other types of people who seem to enjoy demanding apologies when in fact, they are the ones who owe the apology.
So today, I promised myself to never say sorry for the things that I didn’t do. An apology for me means you are sorry for what you did because it was wrong. So I don’t feel that it’s fair to apologize for something that I didn’t even do. Rather the person concerned should take the responsibility for her or his actions.
Again, when I made a mistake, I know how to admit it and say sorry. When I hurt someone even if it wasn’t my intention, I still say sorry. But when someone else breaks something…oh heck no!
I think that those who keep on advising someone to just say sorry even if he/she is not wrong just to smooth things over is a bad advice. Yes! Because it seems to be about ending a grudge without resolving it which only guarantees more future grudges about the same thing. I would rather have one grudge, let the person be sorry for his/her mistakes, solve it, make peace then end it.
I’m saying this from my own experience. We all know that grudges are very heavy to bear. When you feel you’ve been wronged and you keep expecting an apology you’ll never get. When they made you feel that it’s your fault while in fact it’s their. But when you just don’t care about those destructive people, it will at least lessen the pain. At the end of the day, they will eventually realize their mistakes then they will search for you and then say sorry.
Again, never ever say sorry if in the first place, it’s not your fault.
Thank you for reading.
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